Whatever. At least Kimberly didn’t win. BTW, she broke into your locker and stole the hair out of your brush to make a voodoo doll. Just thought I’d let you know. If you start walking with a limp I’d report her immediately.
Not that I’m helping her or anything, but she said she needed a bit of your blood. Since I’m going over to meet with Shawn anyway, I told her I’d take her some. Can I stop by your house and prick your finger? Do you mind? It’s all for love. And I really feel like Shawn and I are a love connection. HEIDI AND SHAWN FOREVER -- I put it on my notebook and everything.
Are you still mad at me? You won, so I really didn’t do anything anyway.
Wanna go to the mall after school tomorrow?
BFF’s 4-eva,
--Heidi
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Shh
Yeah. I still totally hate you, but guess what?
Kimberly's brother Shawn just got home from USC and he's put on like twenty pounds of muscle. AND he ditched that mousy looking girl he was dating. And who do you think he asked about the moment I walked in the door?
YOU!!! He said he thought you were hot and asked if you had a boyfriend. I told him you started playing for the other team(still mad) but then I took it back and suggested he call you.
Seriously, Heidi! He's like the hottest guy in town. If you don't go for it, I will!
PS. I think you should drop out of the captain race. It's only fair since I found you an awesome guy.
-C
Kimberly's brother Shawn just got home from USC and he's put on like twenty pounds of muscle. AND he ditched that mousy looking girl he was dating. And who do you think he asked about the moment I walked in the door?
YOU!!! He said he thought you were hot and asked if you had a boyfriend. I told him you started playing for the other team(still mad) but then I took it back and suggested he call you.
Seriously, Heidi! He's like the hottest guy in town. If you don't go for it, I will!
PS. I think you should drop out of the captain race. It's only fair since I found you an awesome guy.
-C
HAHA
Very clever, Heidi. Too bad the pictures will lead back to your computer. You really shouldn't prostitute yourself like that.
(Randy Buckly is an excellent computer lab partner)
Tata.
-C
PS. Mariah told me the vote was tied. Let's see if you can make some friends before the vote. Oh, wait. I forgot. Sorry. You're a total bitch and everyone hates you. My mistake.
PSS. Did you hear about Kimberly's brother? Call me.
(Randy Buckly is an excellent computer lab partner)
Tata.
-C
PS. Mariah told me the vote was tied. Let's see if you can make some friends before the vote. Oh, wait. I forgot. Sorry. You're a total bitch and everyone hates you. My mistake.
PSS. Did you hear about Kimberly's brother? Call me.
I had my mom call the FBI
It's against the law to post naked pictures of minors. You know that, right?
Man -- Seriously, you are missing some braincells. That should put you away for LIFE.
Cheer captain, here I come.
Love,
Heidi -- 2.5 GPA and still smarter than you.
Man -- Seriously, you are missing some braincells. That should put you away for LIFE.
Cheer captain, here I come.
Love,
Heidi -- 2.5 GPA and still smarter than you.
Whatev
For your information, Officer Dan told me over dinner that my record was sealed because I was a minor, so bite me. Oh, and don't worry, your car is fine. But you might want to check the internet. Search under "Heidi forgot her underwear."
Yeah. Bet you wish you'd worn them now, right bitch?
-C
Yeah. Bet you wish you'd worn them now, right bitch?
-C
*Rolling my eyes at your DUMB-ASS threat*
If you touched my car, I'm going to show that text to Principal Skinner. Your ass will be kicked off the cheer squad and I'll win by default.
Go ahead. Do it.
No wonder they know your first name in juvenile hall. Dummy.
The one with the brains,
--H
Go ahead. Do it.
No wonder they know your first name in juvenile hall. Dummy.
The one with the brains,
--H
Grrrrrr
Oh it is so on! Just because no one EXCEPT your gyno has ever even seen you below the waist, it's not my fault. And they weren't sores! It was a rash. And it's gone. So there.
PS. Good luck finding a matching paint color for your car.
-C
PS. Good luck finding a matching paint color for your car.
-C
Cold sores?
You forget who went with you to your gyno appointment.
Talk about "sores" and the fact that I know you're not a real blonde either.
Bitch.
XOXO - ForNEVER!
--Heidi
Talk about "sores" and the fact that I know you're not a real blonde either.
Bitch.
XOXO - ForNEVER!
--Heidi
Oops
Oops, I guess I forgot to tell you why I broke up with him. Hm. I'll wait until your cold sores appear, then tell you.
Good luck with the vote. Not.
-C
Good luck with the vote. Not.
-C
Oh Yeah?
Marc's a great kisser, that's all I'm saying. The things he can do with his tongue...
your ex-ex-BFF,
--H
your ex-ex-BFF,
--H
You!
Dear Backstabber,
All I have to say to you is Payback’s a Bitch. A really angry, high-kicking, NATURAL blonde, bitch.
If you win, be prepared. That’s all I’m saying.
PS. Spinz says what’s up.
-Your ex-friend
All I have to say to you is Payback’s a Bitch. A really angry, high-kicking, NATURAL blonde, bitch.
If you win, be prepared. That’s all I’m saying.
PS. Spinz says what’s up.
-Your ex-friend
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Chloeeeeeeee!
So... don't be mad at me. Please, please, please, don't be mad at me. You know I love you, right?
Let me just explain, okay? After the Make A Wish chick spoke to my mom -- my mom went all crazy about me getting ready for college. Stupid, right? It's like a year and a half away. It's WAY too early to worry about it now.
Anyways, so... she sent me to Mrs. Lipniski, you know, the guidance counselor. Mrs. Lipniski said that I needed more extracurriculars. Whateves.
I told her, "I'm a cheerleader isn't that enough?" Apparently not. I have to be captain if I want it to count.
*SIGH*
Sorry. My mom's forcing me to run for captain against you. You understand, right?
So now it will be Kimberly, you, me...
And Mariah - that turncoat - I can't believe she decided to run against you. You're right, she is a skank.
Spinz wrote me last night. He says he misses me. How sweet, right?
Good luck!
Your bestest sis-in-crime,
--H
***Vote Heidi***
Please make your vote (on the right sidebar). Votes are anonymous and YOUR VOTE WILL DECIDE THE WINNER. Voting will be open until Wednesday.
Let me just explain, okay? After the Make A Wish chick spoke to my mom -- my mom went all crazy about me getting ready for college. Stupid, right? It's like a year and a half away. It's WAY too early to worry about it now.
Anyways, so... she sent me to Mrs. Lipniski, you know, the guidance counselor. Mrs. Lipniski said that I needed more extracurriculars. Whateves.
I told her, "I'm a cheerleader isn't that enough?" Apparently not. I have to be captain if I want it to count.
*SIGH*
Sorry. My mom's forcing me to run for captain against you. You understand, right?
So now it will be Kimberly, you, me...
And Mariah - that turncoat - I can't believe she decided to run against you. You're right, she is a skank.
Spinz wrote me last night. He says he misses me. How sweet, right?
Good luck!
Your bestest sis-in-crime,
--H
***Vote Heidi***
Please make your vote (on the right sidebar). Votes are anonymous and YOUR VOTE WILL DECIDE THE WINNER. Voting will be open until Wednesday.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
IT'S TIME TO VOTE!!!
Okay, so I’ve got some important news. Marc and me are back on. YAY! After that idiot quarterback spread those lies about me, Marc has been so supportive! It’s really sweet. At first, I thought maybe he believed them and that’s why he was talking to me again. But he swore on his grandmother that that wasn’t the case. Aw. He loved his grandmother enough to swear on her soul! Isn’t that adorable?
Oh…. and in other important news. I got an early copy of tomorrow’s ballot online. Mariah sent it to me as an attachment, but I can’t figure out how to open it. I’ll just send you what I have and you can figure it out!
Well, tomorrow’s the big day! I feel like I’m on Project Runway or something. I’ll either be in or out. With a cute accent no less. Wish me luck!!!!
All love,
Chloe
Oh…. and in other important news. I got an early copy of tomorrow’s ballot online. Mariah sent it to me as an attachment, but I can’t figure out how to open it. I’ll just send you what I have and you can figure it out!
Well, tomorrow’s the big day! I feel like I’m on Project Runway or something. I’ll either be in or out. With a cute accent no less. Wish me luck!!!!
All love,
Chloe
Saturday, January 19, 2008
C-lo,
Talk about feeling pressured to go out with kicker dude. I mean, what was I going to say? The chick from Make a Wish Foundation called me personally and like, told me if I did, that she'd say that I helped a charity and I could put it on my college apps.
I really didn't see the point, I mean, what college isn't going to accept a genius like me? They'd be privileged to have me. But my mom made me. She said that she'd take away my car if I didn't go out with kicker dude.
Okay, first of all, his name is Kelly. Uh, hello. His parents must have been thinking to get his rear kicked all the way through high school. It's a girl’s name. There is no way someone could have thought that was androgynous. (BTW, I totally got that word from my word-of-the-day calendar. I told you it would make me smarter. Bitchin’ huh?)
Back to Kicker Dude… He must have learned to be a kicker to defend himself! I shall never refer to him by that name. He is officially kicker dude in my mind from this moment on. And I swear, if you ever mention the name Kelly to me – even as a jest – I'm going to make cha-cha-cha incident you had last summer look like a distant memory, got it?
Okay... so... it was a horrifying date. Like I said, I was pressured into it – goodwill and all, yadda yadda. So when he picked me up, I was pleasantly shocked. They'd done a good job cleaning him up, ya think? I mean, he wasn't super hot – hot... but he was passable hot. So I was reasonably pleased... until I took a look at the car he was supposedly taking me out in.
Uh, no way. Nuh uh, wasn't going to do it, not even for charity. *shudder* It was a 1980 Buick, rusted from the inside out – oh hell to the no. My rep was already going to be damaged going out with him I couldn't chance being seen in that beast of a car. Was he like a grandpa or something?
I insisted on driving. But first I made him take his car and park it three blocks away.
Dinner was fine. I mean, I talked and he listened. He was the perfect date. It fooled me in to thinking that there could be something between us.
It occurred to me that now that he was without headgear - and reasonably hot - that it might be kinda nice to kiss him. You know, just to see how it was. Uh, wrong. He totally sucked. I pulled away after his drool landed on my shirt and I'm like all, "DUDE! What's up?"
That's when he explained to me that he'd never kissed a girl because of his headgear and all. It was kinda sweet. A kissing virgin.
But still, there is only so much charity that I could handle. I didn't want to be the one who has to teach him. I mean, my clothes are expensive and I can’t have drool on them. So I gave him Kimberly's number and told him to call her.
I figure I'll give her a few weeks to teach him some moves - that slut must have some, after all – and when he’s properly trained, I'll steal him back.
I think your slogan kicks. But you know you could shorten it if you run out of room on the poster board: KIMBERLY IS A SLUT - VOTE CHLOE.
Caboodles of Toodles,
Heidi
PS: I saw that new hot neighbor boy finally. Can I have his number? I've never kissed someone with a tongue ring.
I really didn't see the point, I mean, what college isn't going to accept a genius like me? They'd be privileged to have me. But my mom made me. She said that she'd take away my car if I didn't go out with kicker dude.
Okay, first of all, his name is Kelly. Uh, hello. His parents must have been thinking to get his rear kicked all the way through high school. It's a girl’s name. There is no way someone could have thought that was androgynous. (BTW, I totally got that word from my word-of-the-day calendar. I told you it would make me smarter. Bitchin’ huh?)
Back to Kicker Dude… He must have learned to be a kicker to defend himself! I shall never refer to him by that name. He is officially kicker dude in my mind from this moment on. And I swear, if you ever mention the name Kelly to me – even as a jest – I'm going to make cha-cha-cha incident you had last summer look like a distant memory, got it?
Okay... so... it was a horrifying date. Like I said, I was pressured into it – goodwill and all, yadda yadda. So when he picked me up, I was pleasantly shocked. They'd done a good job cleaning him up, ya think? I mean, he wasn't super hot – hot... but he was passable hot. So I was reasonably pleased... until I took a look at the car he was supposedly taking me out in.
Uh, no way. Nuh uh, wasn't going to do it, not even for charity. *shudder* It was a 1980 Buick, rusted from the inside out – oh hell to the no. My rep was already going to be damaged going out with him I couldn't chance being seen in that beast of a car. Was he like a grandpa or something?
I insisted on driving. But first I made him take his car and park it three blocks away.
Dinner was fine. I mean, I talked and he listened. He was the perfect date. It fooled me in to thinking that there could be something between us.
It occurred to me that now that he was without headgear - and reasonably hot - that it might be kinda nice to kiss him. You know, just to see how it was. Uh, wrong. He totally sucked. I pulled away after his drool landed on my shirt and I'm like all, "DUDE! What's up?"
That's when he explained to me that he'd never kissed a girl because of his headgear and all. It was kinda sweet. A kissing virgin.
But still, there is only so much charity that I could handle. I didn't want to be the one who has to teach him. I mean, my clothes are expensive and I can’t have drool on them. So I gave him Kimberly's number and told him to call her.
I figure I'll give her a few weeks to teach him some moves - that slut must have some, after all – and when he’s properly trained, I'll steal him back.
I think your slogan kicks. But you know you could shorten it if you run out of room on the poster board: KIMBERLY IS A SLUT - VOTE CHLOE.
Caboodles of Toodles,
Heidi
PS: I saw that new hot neighbor boy finally. Can I have his number? I've never kissed someone with a tongue ring.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
No Way!
I can't believe how hot the kicker is without his helmet. Or his glasses. Or his headgear. He is a straight-up fox!!! OMG, you have to go out with him. I wonder if he got that makeover for you. Do you think? I heard it was from the Make A Wish Foundation, whatever that is. But wow! Seriously hot. You'd better go for it. Word in the halls is that Kimberly has her eye on him.
I decided on our slogan, especially since the vote is next Friday. It is: A Good Cheer Captain Leads Her Squad. She DOESN'T Sleep With Their Boyfriends. VOTE CHLOE.
What do you think? Too subtle.
-C
I decided on our slogan, especially since the vote is next Friday. It is: A Good Cheer Captain Leads Her Squad. She DOESN'T Sleep With Their Boyfriends. VOTE CHLOE.
What do you think? Too subtle.
-C
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The Kicker Dude?
With his helmet on? Honey, he has to keep his helmet on. He’s as dumb as a rock. He probably doesn’t know how to walk and the helmet protects his head. Notice, I didn't say brain... I need someone as smart as me. I mean, I almost have a 2.5 GPA. I’m like, practically a genius. I can’t date stupid people.
Okay… so… I totally chose our platform. It is “platform” right? Because I thought that was a shoe and then my dad made me watch the Presidential debates and they kept saying platform over and over and I was like all, if they’re going to talk about their shoes, they should show them and not hide them behind that box thing they stand behind.
Then my dad explained that a platform was a set of ideas that a candidate supports.
A light bulb went off in my head. WE need to do that. So I’ve been thinking all day, what are we going to use as our platform? And then it hit me – we can be vegetarians. You know, animal rights and stuff. It’s hot.
Do you want to know how it came to me? I was walking into Nordies and there was this girl with this tiny Chihuahua. He was so cute. But the girl was kinda skanky. And I kept thinking, man, that poor dog is stuck with a skanky owner. That would have to be awful. I’d hate to be a dog. There should be some kind of animal rights or something.
The idea wouldn’t leave my head the whole time I was in the store buying my new leather jacket. Which, BTW, is so hot. I can’t wait for you to see it.
I am definitely going to be a vegetarian.
We can talk about our new platform over lunch, ‘Kay? I’m thinking McD’s today. I’m craving a quarter pounder with cheese – extra pickles, of course. And fries – YUM!
XOXO
Heidi
PLEASE VOTE:
Should Heidi date the "Kicker Dude?"
Leave your answers in the Comments.
Okay… so… I totally chose our platform. It is “platform” right? Because I thought that was a shoe and then my dad made me watch the Presidential debates and they kept saying platform over and over and I was like all, if they’re going to talk about their shoes, they should show them and not hide them behind that box thing they stand behind.
Then my dad explained that a platform was a set of ideas that a candidate supports.
A light bulb went off in my head. WE need to do that. So I’ve been thinking all day, what are we going to use as our platform? And then it hit me – we can be vegetarians. You know, animal rights and stuff. It’s hot.
Do you want to know how it came to me? I was walking into Nordies and there was this girl with this tiny Chihuahua. He was so cute. But the girl was kinda skanky. And I kept thinking, man, that poor dog is stuck with a skanky owner. That would have to be awful. I’d hate to be a dog. There should be some kind of animal rights or something.
The idea wouldn’t leave my head the whole time I was in the store buying my new leather jacket. Which, BTW, is so hot. I can’t wait for you to see it.
I am definitely going to be a vegetarian.
We can talk about our new platform over lunch, ‘Kay? I’m thinking McD’s today. I’m craving a quarter pounder with cheese – extra pickles, of course. And fries – YUM!
XOXO
Heidi
PLEASE VOTE:
Should Heidi date the "Kicker Dude?"
Leave your answers in the Comments.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Oh SNAP!
Those new t-shirts you got done, KICK SERIOUS CHEERLEADER ASS! lol. I love them, AND the way the XXX fits perfectly between the twins has not gone unnoticed.
In fact, Rob Roberts has asked me out! Seriously, me and the quarterback! Can you imagine the amount of popularity that comes along with that? I bet I can get you the hook up with the field goal kicker if you want? He's sort of cute. With his helmet on.
Anyways, have you seen the latest lunch polls? It has me ahead of Kimberly by 5%!!!! We've got this, Heidi! We are going to rule the school next year.
Love ya!
In fact, Rob Roberts has asked me out! Seriously, me and the quarterback! Can you imagine the amount of popularity that comes along with that? I bet I can get you the hook up with the field goal kicker if you want? He's sort of cute. With his helmet on.
Anyways, have you seen the latest lunch polls? It has me ahead of Kimberly by 5%!!!! We've got this, Heidi! We are going to rule the school next year.
Love ya!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Chloe Love,
Thanks for fixing my poster. It really sucks that there's no spell check with a marker. Or that auto fill thing-a-majig like on the cell phone. Don't you love that feature?! It's the best invention ever. It saves my thumbs from thumb-stress.
The pep rally is going to be awesome! But just so you know, Kimberly has Jessica and Vanessa on her side. I saw them putting up posters for her today after school. They are so fake. I hate them. Wasn’t it three days ago they swore they were your BFF’s?
Kimberly may not be bringing her A-game to the showdown. You know Jennifer? Well... I caught her making out with Marc today. Apparently everyone likes him without his blue braces. I saw Kimberly b---- slapping her. It was awesome. You know I love a cat fight. Meow! Thank god she didn’t catch you!
I was thinking… We need to up our game if you want to win. I think we should come up with a name to put on T-shirts or something. I mean, if the boys look at our boobs anyway, we should use them for advertising. What do you think?
You are going to be the best Kaptin ever.
Rock the VOTE!
Heidi
What should Chloe and Heidi’s cheer name be?
(A) Pom-pom Princesses
(B) Cheer Vixens
(C) Chicks with Kicks
(D) [YOU TELL US!]
HOW TO COMMENT
Do you want to be a part of the story? Well now you can! Leave a comment in the section below the post to advise Chloe/Heidi on what to do next. You don’t need an account and anonymous posts are welcome. Simply type your comment, choose the “anonymous” option, enter the word verification and press “publish your comment.”
You can also choose a nickname (this is a better option if you are returning and leaving feedback frequently). Choose the “nickname” option and type one in. You do NOT have to have an account to choose this option.
Or third, use your Google account. We’d love to visit you!
The pep rally is going to be awesome! But just so you know, Kimberly has Jessica and Vanessa on her side. I saw them putting up posters for her today after school. They are so fake. I hate them. Wasn’t it three days ago they swore they were your BFF’s?
Kimberly may not be bringing her A-game to the showdown. You know Jennifer? Well... I caught her making out with Marc today. Apparently everyone likes him without his blue braces. I saw Kimberly b---- slapping her. It was awesome. You know I love a cat fight. Meow! Thank god she didn’t catch you!
I was thinking… We need to up our game if you want to win. I think we should come up with a name to put on T-shirts or something. I mean, if the boys look at our boobs anyway, we should use them for advertising. What do you think?
You are going to be the best Kaptin ever.
Rock the VOTE!
Heidi
What should Chloe and Heidi’s cheer name be?
(A) Pom-pom Princesses
(B) Cheer Vixens
(C) Chicks with Kicks
(D) [YOU TELL US!]
HOW TO COMMENT
Do you want to be a part of the story? Well now you can! Leave a comment in the section below the post to advise Chloe/Heidi on what to do next. You don’t need an account and anonymous posts are welcome. Simply type your comment, choose the “anonymous” option, enter the word verification and press “publish your comment.”
You can also choose a nickname (this is a better option if you are returning and leaving feedback frequently). Choose the “nickname” option and type one in. You do NOT have to have an account to choose this option.
Or third, use your Google account. We’d love to visit you!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
OMG!
OMG! I love the posters you made for me! Thank you! Oh, btw, captain is not spelled kaptin. No big. I fixed it with my lipstick.
Marc must have been practicing because he is soooo over his drooling issues. Maybe because he took those colored braces off. I mean seriously. Who wears blue braces? When they're seventeen, even? Thank God they're gone. Otherwise I would not have made out with him for two hours. Well, I might have tried it, but I wouldn't have liked it.
Soooo...I was thinking. My house arrest ends on Friday. We should totally have a rally to advertise my run for cheerleading captain. I so think I'm going to win. Fingers crossed!
-Chloe
Marc must have been practicing because he is soooo over his drooling issues. Maybe because he took those colored braces off. I mean seriously. Who wears blue braces? When they're seventeen, even? Thank God they're gone. Otherwise I would not have made out with him for two hours. Well, I might have tried it, but I wouldn't have liked it.
Soooo...I was thinking. My house arrest ends on Friday. We should totally have a rally to advertise my run for cheerleading captain. I so think I'm going to win. Fingers crossed!
-Chloe
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Chloe for Captain
I’m so all over you running for captain! Rock on – rock hard, man. I’m making posters right now! You will, of course, get rid of that stupid no cussing rule, right? Because geez, dude, I feel stupid saying geez all the time. You know?
I totally get that you’re using Marc. I do. But… when you kiss him don’t you think ‘Marc with a “C”’ the whole time? I did and it was totally distracting. Oh, that and he slobbered. I don’t like having to wipe my mouth and chin after a make out session. Just sayin’.
I can’t believe Kimberly went on a date with your cute neighbor boy. Should I bring over the eggs? My mom just went grocery shopping. She’ll never miss them.
K. Text me…
H
I totally get that you’re using Marc. I do. But… when you kiss him don’t you think ‘Marc with a “C”’ the whole time? I did and it was totally distracting. Oh, that and he slobbered. I don’t like having to wipe my mouth and chin after a make out session. Just sayin’.
I can’t believe Kimberly went on a date with your cute neighbor boy. Should I bring over the eggs? My mom just went grocery shopping. She’ll never miss them.
K. Text me…
H
Monday, January 7, 2008
Sniff, sniff
Okay. House arrest sucks! I thought I was going to lose weight because I couldn't hit up MickeyDee's anymore, but I've gained 3/4 of a pound! That is insane. Worse than that, guess who had the nerve to show up last night? Kimberly. Only she wasn't here for me. She picked up my neighbor and took him out on a date. I know. What sort of girl takes a guy out? Gross.
So, new plan. Not only am I not quitting cheerleading, I'm going to run for captain. But before that, I have a little date of my own tonight. Remember Marc? Yeah, with the C. He's stopping by later with some, um...Mickeydee's, and we're watching a movie. What's a good make-out flick?
Kimberly is going to shit a brick. HA!
-C
So, new plan. Not only am I not quitting cheerleading, I'm going to run for captain. But before that, I have a little date of my own tonight. Remember Marc? Yeah, with the C. He's stopping by later with some, um...Mickeydee's, and we're watching a movie. What's a good make-out flick?
Kimberly is going to shit a brick. HA!
-C
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Quit?
Um, I can't, uh, quit. Cuz, uh, well... you know... uh, I wouldn't want to be a quitter. First of all, my mom would be so totally pissed if I quit. She spent so much money on the uniform - and I should know cuz she brings it up every single day (mostly when she tells me how ungrateful I am, but anyway...)
And, um, I look hot in the uniform - don't forget that.
I totally support you and all... IDO! I mean, if you want me to call a support rally or something - I'll cheer my ass off for you... If you want me to organize a car wash - I'll totally pimp myself with a sign on the street corner.
But I can't quit. I can't!
You have to fight this, Chloe. Please! It will suck being on the squad without you. Who will make fun of Kimberly with me? Who will flirt with all the football players with me? Who will puke in the bathroom with me after meals?
Okay I was totally kidding about that last one. Don't take it as a suggestion on how to lose that 15 pounds cuz we all know Jennifer Love Hewitt is lying - size 2 is so fat.
Well, yeah, okay, uh - bye.
Heidi
And, um, I look hot in the uniform - don't forget that.
I totally support you and all... IDO! I mean, if you want me to call a support rally or something - I'll cheer my ass off for you... If you want me to organize a car wash - I'll totally pimp myself with a sign on the street corner.
But I can't quit. I can't!
You have to fight this, Chloe. Please! It will suck being on the squad without you. Who will make fun of Kimberly with me? Who will flirt with all the football players with me? Who will puke in the bathroom with me after meals?
Okay I was totally kidding about that last one. Don't take it as a suggestion on how to lose that 15 pounds cuz we all know Jennifer Love Hewitt is lying - size 2 is so fat.
Well, yeah, okay, uh - bye.
Heidi
Friday, January 4, 2008
Heidi!
Kimberly is a wench! How dare she even dream of kicking me off the squad after all I've done for them!! Did she forget about the 3 milkshakes and 4 hamburgers A DAY I had to eat to gain the fifteen pounds needed to be the base? I was a size four, damnit! She told me her doctor put her on a strict diet and I was the only one that would look good "chubby." Grrrrr....
Fine. She can gain the weight. I'm dropping this 15 and getting my rear back into that catsuit I bought last summer. Who cares if it's white? It'll still look hot next month.
If you're my friend, you'll quit, too! Remember that Kimberly is the one that superglued tic tacs all over your locker because you forgot to brush your teeth that one time before school. Just because she drives a Lexus, does not mean that we have to be friends with her.
You know what? I QUIT CHEERLEADING!
-Chloe
Fine. She can gain the weight. I'm dropping this 15 and getting my rear back into that catsuit I bought last summer. Who cares if it's white? It'll still look hot next month.
If you're my friend, you'll quit, too! Remember that Kimberly is the one that superglued tic tacs all over your locker because you forgot to brush your teeth that one time before school. Just because she drives a Lexus, does not mean that we have to be friends with her.
You know what? I QUIT CHEERLEADING!
-Chloe
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Hey C-Lo,
Oh man, I can't believe you're on house arrest. You have to be the freaking luckiest person ever! A whole month without school. WOW!
Uh, but I have to tell you some bad news, though. Kimberly's pissed that you're missing so many practices. I suggested having them at your house. But she's called a vote tomorrow. She wants to dump you off the squad. What a jealous b----.
She was totally wearing an ankle bracelet as a fashion statement too. What a follower. I told her, all snotty like, "You have to earn it." As if she had the balls to.
Her reason for kicking you off the squad is so lame. She said that we can't compete without a base. Lame. Lame. Lame.
You can't get kicked off the squad! What am I going to do without you?!
We need Go F-I-G-H-T, FIGHT, FIGHT - unite to WIN, W-I-N - again, GO FIGHT WIN!
Crying in my Lucky Charms,
Heidi
Uh, but I have to tell you some bad news, though. Kimberly's pissed that you're missing so many practices. I suggested having them at your house. But she's called a vote tomorrow. She wants to dump you off the squad. What a jealous b----.
She was totally wearing an ankle bracelet as a fashion statement too. What a follower. I told her, all snotty like, "You have to earn it." As if she had the balls to.
Her reason for kicking you off the squad is so lame. She said that we can't compete without a base. Lame. Lame. Lame.
You can't get kicked off the squad! What am I going to do without you?!
We need Go F-I-G-H-T, FIGHT, FIGHT - unite to WIN, W-I-N - again, GO FIGHT WIN!
Crying in my Lucky Charms,
Heidi
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
House Arrest
Okay. So house arrest isn't all that bad. Especially when Patrick(new kid across the street) is also on probation and isn't allowed 500 feet from his house. Guess how far my bedroom is? 498 feet! Ahhhhh....... We've been making out all day.
And wow. Tongue rings are really cool. I never really liked them on guys, but man. Patrick is a pro. He told me I should get one, but...I'm not into poking holes into myself.
Remember when I passed out at Claire's when they tried to put those earrings in me?? God. You would think by now technology would have caught up. A freaking piercing gun? Why not just get a stapler and load it with diamond studs? Barbarians.
Crap. My monitoring bracelet is beeping. I have to go call my Probey. He's on my nerves. He said I was a...what was it...a Sociopath? Something like that. But whatever. He's a probation officer. How hard is that job?
Talk to you soon.
Love,
-C
And wow. Tongue rings are really cool. I never really liked them on guys, but man. Patrick is a pro. He told me I should get one, but...I'm not into poking holes into myself.
Remember when I passed out at Claire's when they tried to put those earrings in me?? God. You would think by now technology would have caught up. A freaking piercing gun? Why not just get a stapler and load it with diamond studs? Barbarians.
Crap. My monitoring bracelet is beeping. I have to go call my Probey. He's on my nerves. He said I was a...what was it...a Sociopath? Something like that. But whatever. He's a probation officer. How hard is that job?
Talk to you soon.
Love,
-C
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR!!!
Your party rocked! Well, at least until the cops showed up. Luckily, I managed to get out the back window! Could you imagine if they caught me - underage and drunk?! My parents would have lost it. I just got my car back too.
Man, who would have thought that I could get so drunk off of $ 3.50 champagne? And that screw top came in handy after the first bottle, I doubt that I would have been able to get the cork popped on the second.
I hope you're okay. What happened after I left? Did the cops harass you?
College guys are hot. The one I met, we kissed all night. His name was Darren -- I think, but don't hold me too that. I hope he calls me. I do remember putting my phone number in his cell phone even if I don’t remember exactly what he looks like.
Guess who called me to wish me a happy New Year? Our favorite pizza boy. He's been promoted to manager and said that if I stopped by the pizza place, he'd give me extra toppings for free. Yeah right, like I would actually drive for pizza. Hello, delivery?
Sorry to hear the necklace came from Target. But, hey! I've been thinking, there may be a way to salvage it… Remember how I took that picture of you and Trent and you were wearing the necklace? You could totally sell it on Ebay just because it came from him and has his DNA on it. I’m sure some whack job will want it. You know, I think they use the DNA to make clone babies or something. Not sure. I should pay more attention in chemistry class but Mr. Roberts makes me fall asleep. I can’t help it.
Okay, well, let me know what happened after I left...
Love 4-eva,
Heidi
Man, who would have thought that I could get so drunk off of $ 3.50 champagne? And that screw top came in handy after the first bottle, I doubt that I would have been able to get the cork popped on the second.
I hope you're okay. What happened after I left? Did the cops harass you?
College guys are hot. The one I met, we kissed all night. His name was Darren -- I think, but don't hold me too that. I hope he calls me. I do remember putting my phone number in his cell phone even if I don’t remember exactly what he looks like.
Guess who called me to wish me a happy New Year? Our favorite pizza boy. He's been promoted to manager and said that if I stopped by the pizza place, he'd give me extra toppings for free. Yeah right, like I would actually drive for pizza. Hello, delivery?
Sorry to hear the necklace came from Target. But, hey! I've been thinking, there may be a way to salvage it… Remember how I took that picture of you and Trent and you were wearing the necklace? You could totally sell it on Ebay just because it came from him and has his DNA on it. I’m sure some whack job will want it. You know, I think they use the DNA to make clone babies or something. Not sure. I should pay more attention in chemistry class but Mr. Roberts makes me fall asleep. I can’t help it.
Okay, well, let me know what happened after I left...
Love 4-eva,
Heidi
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