Chloe --

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You are seriously losing your mind.

NUMBER ONE:

I did NOT start that rumor about you. First of all, I would have chanted “A-Fence” because really, that’s the size your boobs are, after all. Don’t flatter yourself.

AND there is plenty of true stuff that I could start rumors about, if I wanted to.

For instance, you're seventeen and still wet your bed and suck your thumb. Don't you think I would have spilled that first?

NUMBER TWO:

I can't believe that you would make up such a desperate lie as I have three nipples. That's probably straight from Spinz mouth. He's been reading too much Maxim, and is cross-eyed by now to have come up with that stupidity.

You need to remember who your friends are. Who stood by you and supported you? Like that time when you started growing a mustache. Who held your hand when you got electrolysis? Me, that's who.

I'm sorry, I can not continue to support you as a friend if you don't crawl out of your own rear and start smelling the real world.

Hugs and kisses,

Heidi